Learning to Run

I sometimes find myself wondering about true love. I’ve been in a few relationships. None that were worth fighting for. None that made me feel any differently than I do now. It’s kind of funny when you think about it. As a little girl, I read stories about princes. A guy comes along and makes you feel like the most beautiful most important girl in the world. I’ve learned enough about the world to believe with absolute certainty that such story is very far removed from the reality in which I live.

As a woman in her upper 20s, I’ve also learned that no degree of femininity guarantees you fair treatment or a great guy. The truth is every draw is as random as the winning lotto numbers. While I’m not in complete denial that romance and love exist, I’m almost a hundred percent certain that it doesn’t exist for everyone.

What’s a heart for is it’s not for loving? Nobody wants to be alone in life but I think more than anything, nobody wants to feel like they aren’t loved. To feel such a way is truly awful but what if that person does come along? What if they’re right under your nose and still all those negative things are still up at your neck? What would it take to make you move?

Just like that old Smokey Robinson song, “something has to make you run.”

© Kyanna K.

6 thoughts on “Learning to Run

  1. Some pluses here, Kyanna. You said you’ve had relationships before, albeit they never struck a cord within you. That in itself puts you a bit ahead of the game; you have a better idea than most what you might truly want versus relationships being just a personal “theory” of expectations. Also, you mention that love is like a lottery of sorts.. chance of the draw. Good perception. Yep.. it can be. While buying into that concept might justify the apparent “slowness” in accepting it’s gonna take time to find love, it still does little in feeling vulnerable to some level of loneliness.
    If you haven’t already, try this mind game a bit. What kind of guy might be attracted to you? Also… if you were a guy, feeling as you do, what would you want in a woman?
    My point is that by nature (and because of nature) we want love to make us feel happier in life. Yet love itself is not about being that selfish (what I want for myself) but rather about giving our love to another. Odd paradox to be sure.
    I can submit though.. been there, done that; you’re not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I always thought I’d attract very creative artistic types. The philosophical kind of person who loves literature and family. Then I realized that I was mostly talking about myself. 😂

      I’m with you when you say we want love to make us feel better. I think love, what I see as true love, is deeper than that. It means supporting, nurturing, growing, challenging and so much more. When it comes to love I prefer the real thing or nothing at all.

      What does love mean to you?


  2. One of the most important things I might pass on regarding love… is that in spite of our being all humans, nature has made love VERY uniquely different between men and women. The expectations, priorities, and desires are VERY different. Hence it’s VERY important to communicate early in a relationship, about everything. To me THAT is the deepness in enduring love. But total communication between two people is not an easy chore.,, and early in relationships we tend to be more focused on the romance and not wanting to embarrass ourselves in front of the other. Strangely, the courtship part of a relationship does not reflect life’s realities down the line.
    To try and answer your question… one of the best and most profound definitions of love.. at least as it relates to MY feelings… is from the movie, “Wedding Crashers” (go figger)

    “True love is your soul’s recognition of it’s counterpoint in another.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Love is different between men and women. That is very true. I think communication should be the basis of every relationship. I’m not someone who tries to impress or be cutesie. I feel like if someone likes me they will and if they don’t there is nothing I can do to change it. I guess I’m stoic in that sense.

      I like the definition you pulled from “Wedding Crashers.” Very nice. Very nice.


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